


No Genin Left Behind

by IluvNaruto



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24689305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IluvNaruto/pseuds/IluvNaruto
Summary: Sasuke finds his name in a bingo book next to the word genin. Naruto realizes he shares a rank with his son. Gaara wants a vacation. This year's chunin exams are going to be rough.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru/Temari
Comments: 11
Kudos: 118





	1. bigger fish, tinier pond

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [No Genin Left Behind ](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/632479) by Cat, Menace, & Mishie. 



> Well hello, this is not my work belongs to Cat, Menace, Mishie, who were inspired by a BukkakeNoJutsu's Big Fish, Tiny Pond story.  
> Basically I uploaded this story that was originally uploaded to Fanfiction.net but was removed; It can be found at https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/no-genin-left-behind-post-canon-naruto.17834/.  
> This is the funniest story, I stifled with laughter reading it and although it is over 6 years old it is the best story, you will not be disappointed reading it.

Sharinnegananigans

"What is this?"

Uzumaki Naruto, Shichidaime Hokage of Konoha, looked at the bingo book on his desk, and then up at the man who had tossed it there. Uchiha Sasuke, legendary wandering shinobi of Konoha, scowled back at him.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, surprised. "Since when did you get back?"

"Since now," Sasuke said. He jabbed a finger at the little blue book on the Hokage's desk, nestled amongst piles of paperwork and various electronics. "What is that?"

"It's a bingo book," Naruto said flatly. "From Ame, going by the color. Is this really what brought you back after-" He paused. "How many years?"

"Twelve years, dear," Hinata said, turning in her chair to favor Konoha's greatest reform with a polite smile. "Welcome home, Sasuke."

"Hinata." Sasuke nodded. "And I know it's a bingo book, idiot. I was talking about my entry. Page thirty-eight."

Naruto frowned, leaning forward and leafing through the book. "Your entry? I could have sworn we agreed to scrap loyal shinobi from the books in the last summit."

"Ame doesn't have a kage to attend the summits," Hinata reminded her husband, taking a dainty bite of the lunch they'd been sharing before Sasuke barged in.

"Right, right... Where'd you get this, anyway?" he asked Sasuke.

"Not important."

"Whose blood is this?"

"Not important."

"Why-"

"Read the entry."

Naruto rolled his eyes, stopping on the appropriate page and squinting. "Uchiha Sasuke. Rank: Genin. SSS-class shinobi, flee on sight, flee on sound, flee on-"

"Stop," Sasuke snapped, his dark cloak rippling with the force of his agitation. "The rank. Look at the rank."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"I'm not a genin."

Naruto blinked, taking in the outrage in his spiritual brother's bearing. For a moment, all was silent in the Hokage's office but for the quiet click-click of Hinata's chopsticks against her bento. Then, ever so slowly, the Shichidaime began to grin.

"You totally are," he said. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"I was promoted."

"When?"

"Sixteen years ago."

"By who?"

"Orochi-" Sasuke clenched his jaw, and the Hokage's scrolls began rattling in their shelves. Naruto's grin widened.

"Do promotions carry over between villages, Hinata?" he asked, resting elbows on desk and chin on bridged fingers. His wife shook her head, cleaning her mouth with dainty dabs of a napkin and looking apologetically at the steaming SSS-class genin.

"I'm afraid not."

"The book is still wrong," Sasuke insisted. "Affiliation doesn't matter. Chunin is chunin."

Naruto cocked an eyebrow. "Got any proof?"

"Fuck you, Naruto."

"Fuck you, Hokage-sama."

Sasuke's sword hand spasmed. "Promote me," he ground out.

"No can do," Naruto said happily. "We banned genin field promotions during peacetime to encourage participation in the chunin exams. If you want it that bad, you're gonna have to compete like everyone else."

"That's stupid. That's ridiculous. I'm the strongest shinobi in the world-"

"Second strongest," Naruto interjected. Sasuke's expression went flat. One of the windows cracked.

"Oh my," Hinata murmured. "This is rather tense."

Sasuke's hand spasmed again, and Naruto's eye crinkled in mocking invitation. And then, at once, the last male Uchiha relaxed.

He pointed at the Hokage in condemnation. "You're a genin, too."

Hinata made a noise that might have been a snort were she a less sophisticated lady, covering her mouth to hide her smile.

Naruto furrowed his brow, looking down at the fiery red and white robes hanging comfortably on his frame, and then outside, to the mountain with his visage carved into its stone.

"Pretty sure I'm not," he decided.

"You are," Sasuke affirmed, an immense smugness settling into him as he crossed his arms. "Hokage isn't a shinobi rank. It's an occupation, like ANBU or Commander. Believe me, I checked the list. Avenger wasn’t on there either."

"Avenger isn’t a rank or an occupation, Sasuke. We’ve been over this."

“Hokage-sama, permission to create a new rank above joni-”

“Denied.”

“... You’re still a genin.” His best friend said, that immense smugness of his growing. Naruto imagined it blowing his head up into one big egotistical hot air balloon.

“Is this true, Hinata?” he asked, unconvinced.

"I'm afraid so, dear."

“Wait, what?” Naruto whiplashed to look at his wife. "So my son..." he said, eyes widening.

"Your son is the same rank as you," Sasuke concluded, smirking in vicious satisfaction. Naruto sucked in a horrified breath, his own robes beginning to tremor in response to his distress as he processed this. Then his face lit up and he opened his mouth-

"You're not starting a war to promote yourself," Hinata said firmly. Naruto's teeth snapped shut.

"Damn."

Sharinnegananigans

"Gaara!"

Sabaku no Gaara, Godaime Kazekage of Suna, looked at the Konoha headband on his desk, and then up at the man who had tossed it there. Uzumaki Naruto scowled back at him.

"Good afternoon, Naruto," he said, taking the opportunity of the sudden arrival to set his laptop aside and massage his aching hands. He appreciated the space the new technology saved him, he truly did, but the constant typing was murder on his fingers. "And Sasuke," he added, looking past his best friend to the cloaked man skulking in the entrance to his office.

"Did you ever take the chunin exams after the first time?" Naruto demanded.

"Not that I can remember," Gaara said slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"We need a third team member, and everyone else in our generation already got promoted."

"I am not a shinobi of..." Gaara trailed off, looking back at the headband on his desk. "Ah."

"Welcome to Konoha," Sasuke deadpanned.

"Is this really necessary?" Gaara asked, weighing the cloth and steel in his hands pensively. "No one has ever questioned that you two are incredible shinobi. Not since the war. What does rank matter?"

"Gaara," Naruto said, with the infinite patience of a man explaining the consequences of sin to a nonbeliever. "My son is a genin. I'm a genin. We're the same rank."

"Ah. That changes things."

"Told you he'd get it," Naruto said, shooting his fellow Konoha nin a grin. Sasuke humphed, nodding with begrudging respect to the Kazekage.

"I'm not sure how this would help me, though," Gaara mused, idly tossing the headband from palm to palm. "Seeing as promotions don't carry over between villages, I'd be competing to become a chunin of Konoha."

"Chunin is chunin," Naruto said, waving dismissively. Sasuke grunted in agreement. "So, what do you say? Exams are in two weeks, and Kumo's hosting. We'll get promoted, enjoy the mountain air, maybe even meet up with B. Have a big ol' jinchuuriki reunion!"

Gaara hesitated, more than slightly tempted by the offer of a reunion with the only two people left in the world who truly understood him. He'd moved on from his childhood woes long ago, and so had his village, but that didn't make his bond with Naruto and Kirabi any less special. It was because of that very bond that he'd been careful not to bother either of them since the war, contenting himself with seeing Naruto at the occasional summit and otherwise immersing himself in the Kazekage's business.

It was starting to wear on him, though, this constant work. When was the last time he'd had a vacation?

"I'll have to check my schedule," he finally said, reluctantly turning back to the dreaded computer and opening the document his assistant had thoughtfully drawn up for him, detailing his responsibilities for the whole of the month. He moved past the work he'd already completed, settling on the week of the exams and scrolling through.

Scrolling. And scrolling. And scrolling.

Naruto smiled knowingly as the seconds ticked on and the throb in the Kazekage's hands grew increasingly more painful. Finally, Gaara shut his laptop and gently pushed it off his desk. Then he dug his fingers into his carefully combed hair and scratched until it fell over his eyes in wild crimson spikes.

"Nori," he murmured, a finger made of sand pressing a button underneath his desk.

"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" his assistant replied, her voice crackling through the intercom.

"Please inform Baki that I have joined Konoha's shinobi forces and will be participating in Kumo's chunin exams two weeks from now. Suna is in his care until their conclusion."

"... I'm sorry?"

"Try to keep up," Sasuke told Suna's most powerful shinobi, a pleased glint in his charcoal eyes. Gaara smiled, tying the Konoha headband off above his brow.

"I'll do my best."

Sharinnegananigans

"Raikage-sama, the roster for the chunin exams has arrived," Mabui said by way of greeting, bowing at the entrance to the Raikage's office.

"Told you to stop calling me that," A grumbled, accepting the scroll from his assistant nonetheless. He'd stopped being the leader of Kumo years ago, yet somehow his useless successor always found an excuse to be outside the village, leaving its various responsibilities to him. Since he didn't get any of that time off himself, he was even busier now than he had been as acting Yondaime.

"Of course, Raikage-sama," Mabui said, bowing again and withdrawing from the room. A rolled his eyes and broke the seal on the scroll, stifling a yawn as he scanned its contents.

Team 18 of Kiri, Team 22 of Iwa, Team 3 of Kumo, and on and on it went. A skimmed through each team's members, paying more attention to the jonin in charge of the teams than the genin themselves. He noted a few brats from Kumo, reminding himself to pay their teams a visit before the exams started. God knew Darui wouldn't.

He was just about done when his eyes caught a particularly memorable name, and he stopped short. Hatake Kakashi? Since when did he have a genin team?

"Team Kage," he read, squinting at the text added in parenthesis beside the team name. "And Sasuke?" What in the world...

A's eyes bulged as he looked at the list of 'genin' under the retired Rokudaime Hokage's command. Specifically, the current Shichidaime Hokage, and… the Godaime Kazekage?

"He's not even from Konoha!"

Kirabi chose that moment to kick the door off its hinges.

“Yo Raikage, check it out, cause here’s what Killer B’s about. I’m becomin’ a genin, yeah you see, finals are gonna be Naruto and me!”

A had a moment of silence for all this year’s chunin hopefuls.

“I’m not demoting you, B.”

His brother gave him a confused, pleading look that wasn’t complimented at all by his sunglasses and mature, scarred face. A growled and slammed a fist on his- Darui’s - desk, glaring at the legendary jinchuuriki.

“I don’t know what this Team Kage nonsense is all about-”

“And Sasuke.”

A blinked. “What?”

“It’s Team Kage and Sasuke, yo,” B said.

“That’s ridiculous. Who’s Sasuke?”

“Not a kage.” At A’s blank look, B elaborated, “You can’t call ‘em Team Kage, y’know, ‘cause one of ‘em isn’t a kage.”

“No, but who is he?” The name rang a bell, and it had to belong to someone important for them to be a part of this ridiculous team, but A couldn’t recall who it was for the life of him.

“Naruto’s not-kage bestie, y’know? Burnt your arm off a few years ago.”

Ah. That one. A’s mood, if possible, soured even further. “Regardless. I don’t know what they’re thinking, entering a competition for children, but I’m not going to add to the insanity by adding you to the mix. Especially not when we’re the ones hosting!” He pounded his -Darui’s - desk again, cracking it. “Besides, you can’t just ask for a demotion. That’s asinine.”

“I see you, bro,” B drawled, “I’ve gotta earn it, yo!”

A’s chest contracted with a concerning pressure, but before the stroke could take hold a sudden flash of inspiration hit him. One that could remove him from this entire mess, save millions in repair costs, and make this damn village understand that he was retired.

“Whether or not you earn it, B, I can’t demote you,” he said, a slow grin coming over his face. “Because I’m not the Raikage.”

Kirabi paused for a moment, his forehead creasing like a child’s attempt at a paper crane as he mulled over this. He mulled over it for a few seconds, along with the Hachibi, no doubt, while A waited patiently for him to understand the insanity of his demand. He swore to god, they didn’t pay him enough for this.

“So, what you’re saying is-”

“Yes?”

“That I-”

“Yes?”

“Have to force the real Raikage to demote me!”

“Yes-! Wait, what?”

It was too late. Kirabi had already vanished from the room, and A sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How did he even find out about this before I did?”

Whatever. He dismissed the event and the chunin exam roster from his notice, turning to the rest of his paperwork for the day. It wasn’t his problem anymore. After all, he thought, signing another high priority document -

He certainly wasn’t a kage.

Sharinnegananigans

“Look, Hinata, it’s totally fine!” Naruto said, shielding his eyes from the sun’s glare as he gauged its position in the sky. It was getting to be that time. Soon enough, Konoha’s contingency would be meeting at the northern gates for a rousing speech from yours truly before heading out for the exams, with none other than Team Kage (and Sasuke) at the helm. He couldn’t wait.

“Of course, dear.”

Unfortunately, his wife had her misgivings about the whole affair. A black spot on an otherwise perfect day that Naruto was determined to rectify as soon as possible.

“Sure, I know it’s Boruto’s first exam-”

“Yes, dear.”

“And yeah, I know that we’re probably going to beat this exam like it owes us money-”

“Naturally, dear.”

“But that doesn’t mean they can’t give it their best! That’s what the Will of Fire is all about!” Naruto compounded this with a sagely nod - something he’d spent fifteen years as a sage perfecting - like he’d just imparted six paths of wisdom on his wife. “And anyway, that’s why I’m here, right? To set an example for the next generation.”

Hinata made a series of noises that might have been a coughing fit were she a less sophisticated lady, squeezing Naruto’s hand tightly. “C-certainly, dear.”

He paused for a moment, staring suspiciously at his wife. “Hinata…”

“Yes?”

“Are you sure there’s no way to promote myself?”

He was excited to participate in the chunin exams, especially if it meant spending time with three of his favorite people in the world. He well and truly was. There was just one thing. One little thing that he hadn’t realized until he’d gone back to add his own team to the chunin exams roster and seen the list. One little someone, even.

“Oh, definitely not,” Hinata said, shaking her head. “The current book of regulations you approved is very firm on promotional restrictions. If I recall, it’s page three hundred, section eight, paragraph sixty-two that states-”

Naruto waved his hands rapidly. “Never mind, I get it! I trust you, Hinata. It’s just...”

“What?” His wife looked at him curiously, and Naruto glanced surreptitiously around the northern gate’s market district.

“I heard Sakura’s daughter is competing, too.”

“Sarada? Yes, Sakura mentioned it over tea last week.”

“Right. And, you know, her father…”

“Hm?”

“It’s just, I don’t think Sasuke…” Naruto cringed at his wife’s expectant look, saying the rest all in a rush. “I don’t think Sasuke knows he has a daughter.”

“... Excuse me?”

Sharinnegananigans

“Sakura.” Sasuke said neutrally, glancing around the market district. It had been so long since he’d walked these streets, and so many things were different, he almost didn’t recognize the place. It was honestly a bit overwhelming. He wondered just how much had changed since his last visit. “How-”

“Have I been?” Sakura asked, staring at him. He reluctantly turned his attention back to her. How had she picked him out of the morning crowd, anyway? “Fine. Sarada’s doing well.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed in thought. “That’s… good?” Had she taken up gardening? He’d never have expected Naruto’s silly hobby to rub off on her, but he supposed anything was possible.

“Yes. It is.”

Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, Sakura, I know I’ve been away for a while-”

“Eleven years, eight months, and twenty three days. But who’s counting?”

“Not Naruto, that’s for sure,” he muttered to himself. “Look, I know it’s impossible to just pick up where we left off-”

“Oh definitely not. What would people say?”

“Right, but-”

“I mean, a jonin and a genin?”

Sasuke’s mouth flattened into a thin line. Sakura smiled cheerily at him.

“Think of propriety, Sasuke. Naruto can get away with it, being the Hokage and all, but you’re not quite the same, are you? I’m the head of the Medical Division, too. What would people say if they saw me hanging around a genin all the time? Honestly, we’re not in the Academy anymore.”

Sasuke stared at his once teammate and carefully reviewed the reasons why he couldn’t kill her. He was halfway through ‘fighting Naruto sans an arm would be difficult’ when he saw the tiny piece of paper - naturally orange, because the Shichidaime refused to send his memos on any other kind of stationery - and he didn’t even need to open it to know what it said. He sighed.

“...Sakura, I’m going to go wait at the gate now. You can come if you want.”

“But Sasuke, wouldn’t that be a bit confusing?” she asked, her eyes dancing mischievously as she fell in step beside him. “People might mistake me for your jonin sensei.”

“Sakura, please-”

“I suppose it’s different when I’m with Naruto, but again, he’s the Hokage, and it’s usually for work or because I’m meeting with his wife; my fellow jonin, Hinata. What do you do for a living Sasuke? It must be important, to have kept you out of the village for over a decade. Not a single visit, not a word to myself or Sarada-” What, she wanted him to send postcards to her plants? “- I can only imagine what you’ve been up to.”

“It’s none of your business what I’ve been up to,” he said coolly. He’d promised Naruto to be polite, had promised on the arm that he gave up for their friendship so many years ago, but she was making it more difficult with every word.

“Of course it isn’t,” Sakura agreed, nodding. “We clearly have no stake in your life.”

“We?”

“Me and Sarada.” Oh, Susanoo save him. Now her plants got to have opinions about his life? This was utterly ridiculous.

“I get it, Sakura,” he snapped. “You like your plant. Now, can we move past that and have a serious conversation?”

Sakura jerked to a full stop in the middle of the market district, her playful grin vanishing.

“My what?”


	2. Uchiha Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by No Genin Left Behind by Cat, Menace, & Mishie.  
> Well hello, this is not my work belongs to Cat, Menace, Mishie, who were inspired by a BukkakeNoJutsu's Big Fish, Tiny Pond story.  
> Basically I uploaded this story that was originally uploaded to Fanfiction.net but was removed; It can be found at https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/no-genin-left-behind-post-canon-naruto.17834/.  
> This is the funniest story, I stifled with laughter reading it and although it is over 6 years old it is the best story, you will not be disappointed reading it.

sharinganiscaringan

Uchiha Sarada was a talented kunoichi, that much was clear. She’d graduated at the top of her class in the Academy, just like her father, and had been nominated for the Chunin Exams within her first year as a genin- also like her father. Honestly, the exams wouldn’t have even been necessary, if not for the peacetime laws. She was such a stellar kunoichi that her jonin-sensei would have had her promoted on the spot after their first C-rank mission, and the Hokage would have approved it, too.

But then, maybe her mother and godfather were a little biased.

Still, her worth could not be disputed. Sarada was strong for a girl her age, just like her mother had been. She was swift and had a keen eye on the battlefield, just like her father. She was sharp in both the theoretical and the practical fields, a perfect mix of both her parents. Yes, Uchiha Sarada was as smart as they came, a thinker through and through.

And as luck would have it, she was thinking right now. Intently. Angrily.

“Sarada.”

There was a dream- nay, an ambition that she had to achieve, no matter the cost.

“Hey, Saradaaa.”

Her mother had told her that man was going on the journey to Kumo with them, and if there was one thing that man had done, it was ruin her life. Treating her like she was some unimportant sideshow- some nothing in his life, instead of a member of his family. Instead of his beloved daughter. He’d never understand the wrong he’d done her by not doing anything at all.

If she had her way, that man would never know rest. Not once he realized what he’d missed out on all these years.

“Oi, Sarada!”

Some blond idiot whose father loved his children way more than hers smacked her over the head. She yelped, glaring at him. “What is it, Boruto?”

“What’re you thinking about?”

She clenched her fist, coalescing her many dark, troubled thoughts into one.

“How to impress a certain man.”

For a long moment her teammate just stared at her, stunned. He dug a finger in his ear, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, and then leaned over her shoulder to see what she’d been glaring at while brood- thinking.

Boruto’s eyes swept over Konoha’s northern gate, passing over the adult shinobi gathered and settling on the third, decidedly male member of their three genin cell. His own best friend. His expression turned devious.

“Oh Sarada, Sarada…” he drawled, throwing an unwanted arm around her shoulders. “Seems to me you need some help with the finer points of the male psyche.”

“Do you even know what that word means?”

“Don’t you worry,” he continued, as if the smaller girl hadn’t even spoken. “For I, Uzumaki Boruto, am going to teach you the magic of manhood.”

“W-what!?” Sarada jerked away from him, tragic thoughts vanishing from her mind. “No, i-it’s not like that! I don’t want to impress anyone l-like that, stupid!”

And if her gaze shifted from her father to the taller, cheerier, more attractive Shichidaime Hokage while she said this, well, that was just because stupid Boruto had put the idea in her head.

Really.

sharinganiscaringan

“Come on Hinata, just one little war!”

“No, dear.”

“Snow’s barely even a village! And they owe me, like, a million favors. I saved their Daimyo once. Or maybe it was their Kage?”

“Snow doesn’t have a Kage.”

“It doesn’t matter who it was, Hinata. I definitely saved them, and they were definitely important. That’s worth a favor. Anyway, they’d surrender as soon as I showed up! No one would even have to die.”

Hinata paused, fanning herself with a ceremonial fan as any proper lady should. Naruto often went off on tangents like this, as she’d learned over the years. She’d nearly had a stroke the first time he suggested they try for a child mid-Kage Summit, but it had become easier to handle as she grew into her role as his wife. He’d get back on topic eventually. He always did. With the proper encouragement, of course.

“In any case, what do you think of the teams this year?”

Naruto nodded solemnly. “They’d have had a really good chance if I hadn’t entered.”

“Of course, dear.”

“You don’t understand sometimes, Hinata,” he moaned, throwing an arm over her shoulder. Hinata sighed, but leaned her head against him all the same. “It’s hard being the best.”

“I thought I was the best wife?”

“Well obviously,” he replied, frowning. “But I meant the best at, you know, other stuff. Ninja things.”

“Well, I do outrank you.”

“We’re not doing this, Hinata.”

“Of course not, dear.”

He nodded, satisfied. “Besides, once I make chunin I can promote myself straight to Hokage. That’s a rank now, by the way. I made it one while you were putting Boruto’s lunch together. It’s the best rank. Right below Super Dreadnought Ramen King.”

“Below?”

“We’ve all gotta have goals. Like other women and their goal to be better wives than you.” Hinata hid her smile behind her fan, eyes crinkling. “And Sasuke’s goal to be an avenger.”

Naruto paused.

“I mean, an official one. Though he always just scribbles out his rank and writes that on his ID, anyway.”

“Really, dear?”

“Yeah, we tried cracking down on it for a while. But this one guy caught him at a really bad time and tried to refuse it at a bar since he’d invalidated it. Seventy-two hours of a chidori up every orifice you can think of, and a few more he made up on the fly. People let it slide, now.”

Hinata made a noise that might have been a snicker were she a less sophisticated lady. Naruto grinned, making chirping bird noises and waggling his fingers in various horrifically painful looking ways.

“Hokage-sama!” Aburame Shino called, waving a clipboard. The deceptively caring man had insisted he be at the send-off for the genin competing, many of whom he’d seen graduate from the Academy just a few months before, and Hinata’s husband had been more than happy to leave the privilege of roll call to him.

“Everyone here?” Naruto called back, letting Hinata go with a quick peck on the cheek. She blushed, raising her fan just a bit higher, and followed him into the crowd of chunin hopefuls and their sensei.

“Yes, sir.”

“Great!” He clapped his hands together, a shockwave of wind chakra setting his robes aflutter. It was an impressive little effect, and only Hinata knew he’d spent months making it safe to use around children.

“We all know why we’re here, don’t we?” he asked, pride and an easy sort of cheer in his bearing as he regarded the genin of the next generation. It was infectious, lowering the tension in the crowd immediately. Unlike his sagely nod, it was something he’d never had to practice. He was always that way with people.

A few of the more brazen genin called out to him in the affirmative, while Boruto just rolled his eyes from his place at the edge of the crowd.

“Of course we do! We’re here to make chunin and show the rest of the elemental nations we haven’t been slacking since the end of the world!” Naruto cheered, and the genin cheered right along with him.

Until, of course, his words sunk in.

“We, Hokage-sama?” Shikamaru’s son asked, ever the observant one. A few of the jonin-sensei already in the know hid their faces in their hands.

“That’s right!” Naruto said, jabbing a thumb at his chest. “My predecessors forgot to promote me in all the confusion during the end of the world, which means I’m still a genin, and so is my friend Kazekage-dono up there!” Everyone followed his finger to the top of the northern gate, where Gaara sat perched, silently watching them.

“Uncle?” Shikadai said incredulously. Gaara waved down at his nephew.

“Not just that, but my old sensei, Rokudaime Hokage-dono, will be guiding us to victory as our sponsor!”

All eyes turned to the retired Hokage, leaning against the gate with a pornographic book in hand. He peeked over the edge of it, two healthy brown eyes quirking up in a smile, and waved.

“Yo.”

“And Sasuke’s here too, I guess,” Naruto finished, waving a dismissive hand at the last male Uchiha from his place beside Kakashi.

“Sasuke?” Lee’s son gasped, bushy brows shooting up his forehead. “The Uchiha Sasuke, the second strongest shinobi in the world?”

The village gates groaned and cracked above Sasuke’s head.

“The one and only,” Naruto confirmed. “Really, I’m downplaying him a bit. We wouldn’t be Team Kage and Sasuke without him, you know?”

“So you’re taking it easy on us, right? Since we’re your shinobi and all?” Inojin asked desperately, the other genin nodding in frantic agreement.

“Of course not!” Naruto said, affronted. “It’s because you’re my shinobi that I know you’re all going to do so well. We’ll be treating you like everyone else, so I expect you guys to give it your all and do Konoha proud!”

And that’s when the crying started.

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Kakashi sighed dramatically. “You’ll never understand, Sasuke.”

“Understand what?” Sasuke asked, paying less than half his mind to Kakashi. Sakura had stormed off mid-conversation without a word, and now they were at least halfway to Kumo and she was still avoiding him. It was a bit worrying.

“The hardship. The burden of being a Hokage.”

“I could be a Hokage.”

“Of course you could,” Kakashi said patronizingly. “As soon as Naruto’s godlike genetics give out on him and he dies of old age before you.”

“What if Naruto was assassinated, hn?”

Kakashi lowered his book, going so far as to put it in his pocket so as to focus the full weight of his scorn on his past and present student. He looked at Sasuke as if he wasn’t even an ant on the road, an errant crumb in his bed. It was like a speck of dust had gotten too close to his food, and he was simply informing it that it was banned from existence.

“You can’t assassinate Naruto. I’m almost certain he’s immortal.”

“Kaguya was immortal, too.”

“Sasuke,” Kakashi said, smiling with his eyes, “That was with Naruto’s help. You’re only the second strongest shinobi on your own.”

A nearby tree shattered into dozens of jagged splinters, and a few genin screamed. They wouldn’t be receiving a promotion.

“Besides, Naruto has nine tails, and you don’t have any. So if we’re going by Bijuu rules, Naruto’s at least nine times stronger than you are.”

Sasuke frowned. He wasn’t an expert on Bijuu rules, but... “That’s not how that math works.”

“You’re right,” Kakashi conceded, patting him on the shoulder. “I just thought it would hurt your feelings if I said Naruto was infinitely stronger than you.”

Sasuke inhaled. Killing Kakashi would make Naruto upset. He was doing this for Naruto. Therefore, he couldn’t kill Kakashi. Sasuke exhaled.

Kakashi leaned into his personal space, voice lowering confidentially. “Now listen, Sasuke, as the jonin here-”

“I have an SSS-class flee-on-sight ranking in every single bingo book. Every single one. Even Konoha.”

Kakashi waggled his finger. “As the jonin here, as well as the leader of Team Kage-”

“And Sasuke!”

Sasuke whirled around, but aside from Naruto’s voice he couldn’t find anything of him amidst the trees. The only shinobi in sight were a handful of terrified genin suffering from some splinters.

“-I believe I’m in an ideal position to give you advice.”

“About what?” Sasuke asked, eying his so-called jonin-sensei.

“Women, of course,” Kakashi replied, rolling his eyes. “I’ve noticed that Sakura isn’t speaking to you. And not just because of the gap in rank.”

“I snapped at her about her plants and she got upset,” Sasuke said dismissively. “She’ll come around.”

Kakashi gave him a look. “Her plants.”

Sasuke nodded. “Apparently she picked up Naruto’s green thumb while I was away. She calls her garden Sarada, and you’d think it was her child the way she talks about it.”

“That’s-” Kakashi paused, turning his gaze skyward, as if in askance for some divine assistance. Unfortunately, Naruto was nowhere to be found, and Sasuke… well. “Right, okay. You said she’d come around? How do you plan on making that happen?”

“Once I avenge myself and close that ridiculous gap in rank, she’ll have to have an actual conversation with me. Things will fall into place from there.” They always did.

“Avenge yourself? What are you avenging this time, exactly?”

Sasuke thought for a moment, tapping his fingers against his leg. “Society, mostly.”

“I thought you worked that out with Naruto at the Valley of the End?”

“That was former society,” the SSS-class genin replied, waving his hand. “I’m avenging myself on the new and improved one.”

“Is there a reason?”

“It’s trying to keep me locked up at genin. Genin. I’m so powerful I should have my own rank, and yet this new society’s rules are trying to tell me I’m the same as some brat fresh out of the Academy. It’s a disgrace.”

“Just out of curiosity,” Kakashi said slowly. “What would this personal rank of yours be, if you could have it?”

He clenched his fist, coalescing his many dark, troubled thoughts into one.

“Avenger.”

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“Okay, Sarada. This one’s going to be tough.”

Uzumaki Naruto, world’s best shinobi, and in Boruto’s completely unbiased opinion worst father of all time, regarded Sarada seriously.

“T-tough?” Sarada asked hesitantly. “But he’s my dad, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, but he’s never exactly been, you know. Good. At emotions. Or relationships. Or...” Naruto ticked his fingers off one at a time. “Family, communication, empathy- anything involving the word ‘Uchiha’, to be honest. What I’m saying is, this might be the hardest mission of your life.”

Sarada gasped, shocked into a moment of silence just long enough for Boruto to get a word in edgewise.

“Harder than catching that stupid dog you let Himawari buy?” he asked his father pointedly.

So maybe he was feeling a little spiteful. It was his dad’s fault, either way, comforting Sarada and talking her through her anxiety like she was his own child. Boruto never got any pep talks. He had to deal with his problems alone. So why Sarada? What did she have that he didn’t?

“Boruto, your vendetta against Okami-sama is as futile as it is petty. We’ve talked about this. Your sister wanted a giant fox, but Kurama gets antsy when he’s outside my stomach for too long. It had to be a dog.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to catch him every single time.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Don’t mind my son, Sarada. He’s young and immature. He’s never been through trials like the one you have before you.”

“I fought a ninja tiger!”

The Hokage snorted, giving Boruto a patronizing look. “Yeah, sure. We’re all very proud, son. But no ninja tiger is as terrifying as talking to the second strongest shinobi in the world.”

There was a muffled boom and a scream far off in the distance, a flock of birds scattering into the sky at the sound of it. Another genin out of the promotion race.

“Um… So what should I say, Hokage-sama?” Sarada asked, looking demurely up at Boruto’s father. Naruto frowned, scratching his cheek.

“I’ve found some middle ground always helps break the ice. Try finding something you both like doing. Like avenging, or not letting go of the past. Or tomatoes. Sasuke loves those things. I think it’s because they remind him of something. Like blood, or the color of his eyes. Or the color of his eyes when they bleed, maybe.”

Sarada opened her mouth and closed it, utterly baffled.

“I did say this was going to be hard.”

The girl looked down at her feet, tracing lines in the dirt with her toes. “I… I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Hey, hey!” Boruto’s father clapped a hand on her head and rubbed it in reassurance, like he never did for his son. Not that Boruto cared. “Don’t worry! We’ll all be there to support you! Me, Hinata, and your mom. Boruto, too!”

“Are you sure you’re not just gonna do it for her like you do my C-ranks?” Boruto grumbled, kicking the ground.

“My first C-rank turned out to be an A-rank in disguise, Boruto,” Naruto said without missing a beat. “I had to save an entire nation from subjugation. I almost died. Me, the most powerful shinobi in the world. Who knows what would happen to you if something like that happened and I wasn’t there?”

“We were building shelters in Wave! Underneath your stupid bridge!”

“Excuse you, Boruto,” his stupid father said, waggling a finger. “You mean the Great Naruto Bridge, the first of many monuments to my glory, and the symbol of my worth as a shinobi. Tell you what. When you get a bridge named after you, then I’ll stop worrying.”

“How can I get a bridge named after me if you’re always ruining my missions!?”

His father shook his head. “See Sarada? Even I have problems with my children. Imagine what it’s going to be like for Sasuke.”

“You’re not helping, dear,” Hinata called, from her place chatting with Sakura at the other end of the clearing.

“Hinata, you and I both know Sasuke isn’t good at anything that’s not being an avenger. This is the most helpful thing.”

“Um…” Sarada mumbled. “Maybe I should do this later.”

“Nonsense!” Naruto waved the thought away, jumping to his feet and stretching. Boruto scowled, looking at Sarada look at his father’s muscles ripple and shift beneath his clothes. No one ever admired his muscles like that. “This is the perfect time and place! Who knows where Sasuke will be tomorrow?”

“On the road. With us,” Boruto deadpanned.

“You think that. But who knows? He might defect again, and then I’ll have to track him down to the Valley of the End again, and beat his ass into loyalty again. Anything is possible when Sasuke’s involved. Except me losing a fight, of course.”

“We’re doing it now?” Sakura asked, dusting off her chinese style dress as she stood.

“We’re doing it now!” Naruto affirmed, grabbing Sarada’s hand. His teammate’s eyes went wide, a faint dusting of red on her cheeks. Boruto glared enviously. Nobody ever held his hand. “When else would we possibly do it? Look at all the moral support Sarada has right here!”

“Remember, dear,” Hinata said. “This is about Sarada. Try not to make too much fun of Sasuke while they’re having their reunion, okay?”

Naruto paused. He bit his lip, considering, and the girl’s blush intensified. “Sarada, I might not be able to actually be there while you’re talking to Sasuke. I’ll have to have your metaphorical back, not your literal one.”

“You’re coming!” Sakura snapped, slapping him over the head while Hinata took up her place by Naruto’s side.

“Fine, fine,” his father said. “But you get to explain to Hinata why Sasuke was too busy trying to avenge himself on me to talk to his daughter. I don’t want any part of that.”

“I’ll be right there, dear,” Hinata reminded him.

“I still don’t want to have to do it. I just make things happen. I can’t really explain them after the fact. Don’t you remember when I tried to explain how I beat Gaara into becoming the Kazekage?”

Boruto scowled. Nobody ever beat him into becoming Kazekage. His dad was so unfair.

“I still don’t quite understand how that one worked,” Hinata admitted. “You told him to stop being a murdering psychopath, punched him in the face, and he was cured of all mental illness?”

“It was a headbutt, Hinata. A headbutt. Totally different.”

“Yes, dear.”

“That didn’t cure him of mental illness, anyways. Our friendship did that. That’s what brought Sasuke to his senses in the end, too. Don’t underestimate the power of friendship.”

“I still don’t think friendship can cure mental illness,” Sakura said, crossing her arms. “I’ve been a medic for over twenty years, and-”

“Sakura.”

“What?”

“Which one of us can regrow organs in literally two seconds?”

“Are we really doing this-”

“Which one of us can cure every illness? All of them, not just the ones modern medicine knows about.”

“Naruto-”

“Which one of us is the better medic, Sakura?”

“Do we have to do this every single-”

“WHICH ONE, SAKURA!?”

“YOU! IT’S YOU!”

Naruto nodded firmly, guiding Sarada away. “You’re goddamn right it is. Let’s go, Sarada. We have a father to talk to.” Boruto pouted, kicking at the ground.

No one ever helped him talk to his father.

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“Naruto.”

Sarada had been caught flat-footed. Seeing her father up close, face to face, for the first time in her awareness, was an experience more intense than anything she could have prepared herself for. She was still trying to find her voice, to figure out what to say, but that man was already speaking before she’d even worked up the courage to look him in the eye.

“Sasuke,” the Hokage replied in kind, his voice cool and composed. She swooned, just a bit. Not because of his deep, manly voice, mind you. And definitely not because he was standing protectively behind her, his muscular frame a mere breath away. Definitely not.

“Are you really wasting clones on tacking your stupid joke on whenever someone says Team Kage-”

“And Sasuke!”

That man’s head whipped around like lightning, searching for the source of the voice and finding nothing. His right hand - his only hand, Sarada noted - spasmed.

“That’s not important right now,” the Shichidaime said dismissively. “What’s important is what she has to say.”

“Who?” That man asked, and only then did he turn his focus on her. Sarada trembled as the weight of his stare, the stare of a god among men, settled upon her.

“I-I’m,” she began, looking down at her feet when meeting his eyes became too intense. “Um… I’m...”

“She’s just stuttering. Did you bring me another fangirl?”

“N-no! I’m…”

“Her name’s Sarada,” Sakura cut in, looking at that man with an intensity Sarada had never seen in her mother. “Uchiha Sarada.”

That man blinked. “Excuse me?”

He looked at her closer, peering in. Then back at her mother. And then he stared at her for a bit longer, until she pulled Naruto’s arm over her, shielding her from view.

“Sakura,” That man finally said, shocked. “You…”

“Yes?”

“All these years, I didn’t realize-”

“Yes?”

“You fucked Itachi?”

Sarada heard a muffled snicker from the man she was hiding behind, and then her mother shrieked.

“What!?”

“And in the middle of the Fourth Great War, too.” That man crossed his arms, eying Sarada’s mother appraisingly. “You avenged yourself pretty well on me there, Sakura. I’m impressed.”

“Why would she be Itachi’s daughter!? She looks exactly like you!”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” That man, rolled his eyes, lifting a lock of his own hair. “My hair is spiked and full of life, like me. Itachi’s hair was flat and lifeless, like him. And her.”

Sarada stifled a whimper.

“But- but-” her mother sputtered. “Itachi was your brother. You two look alike!”

“No we don’t,” he said. “I take after Madara more than anyone, when it comes to looks. Itachi was closer to Indra.”

“But those are both Uchiha, too! You all look the same!”

Naruto covered his mouth, shoulders trembling.

That man was quiet for a single, incredulous moment. ”Wow, Sakura. Uchihacism? In this day and age?”

“That’s not even a word,” her mother hissed.

The Hokage made a helpless little sound deep in his throat, and his wife sighed.

“Well excuse me, Nidaime-sama.” That man snapped. “I forgot this was the Warring Clans era!”

“What are you even talking about?”

Naruto finally broke, hunching over and wrapping Sarada up in an unintentionally dizzying embrace while he laughed himself silly. She blushed scarlet, heart pounding in her chest, but not because she liked him, not because she liked him. He was just heavy, and she was having trouble holding him up. That was all!

“I suppose it would be hard or you to recognize we Uchiha as people, hn?” That man mused. “If you can’t even recognize discrimination against us as a concept.”

“Sasuke.”

“And saying it all right in front of your own daughter, too,” he continued, shaking his head. “It’s almost too cruel, even for such an excellent avenger.”

“What is- why are you-” Sarada stammered, hands clenching into shaking fists, blood roaring in her ears as she stared up at that man. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go at all. This wasn’t the fateful encounter she’d been envisioning for so many years. This wasn’t the loving reunion she’d desired! This wasn’t it at all!

Why was he being like this?

“How can you be so… so…” she bit out, struggling to find the words. In the end, she could only think of one.

“Foolish?”

Naruto collapsed, waving frantically to his wife for assistance. Her mother groaned, burying her face in her hands.

“I see,” that man murmured. He knelt down in front of her, placing his hand on her shoulder. It was strong, strong like the Hokage’s, though not nearly as warm. “It really is you, then.”

Her heart leapt up into her throat. Was this it? Did he finally understand?

That man smiled, the slightest quirk of his lips.

“You can call me uncle.”

Her eyes went blood red.

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	3. The exams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by No Genin Left Behind by Cat, Menace, & Mishie.  
> Well hello, this is not my work belongs to Cat, Menace, Mishie, who were inspired by a BukkakeNoJutsu's Big Fish, Tiny Pond story.  
> Basically I uploaded this story that was originally uploaded to Fanfiction.net but was removed; It can be found at https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/no-genin-left-behind-post-canon-naruto.17834/.  
> This is the funniest story, I stifled with laughter reading it and although it is over 6 years old it is the best story, you will not be disappointed reading it.

Sharinganiscaringan

The gates towered high into the clouds, but their guard felt nothing but sheer, unadulterated terror. He’d lost the straw drawing, and it was clear he’d lost in a much bigger way than he thought. Why was the Seventh so insistent on tradition and proper decorum? Didn’t he deface monuments as a kid?

“Sir,” he tried again. “I believe you, honestly. You and your shinobi can pass.” Please.

The Hokage’s wife, a beautiful woman draped in classy lavender and white cloth, smiled sympathetically at the guard. The Hokage himself was less understanding.

“I don’t know what kind of operation A’s got going on here now that the war is over,” he said testily. “But I didn’t save the entire world at seventeen years old so you could slack off and not check my village’s god damn paperwork, soldier.”

“Sir, it’s really clear who you are -”

“Sasuke, did our gate guards ever let us through without paperwork when we were kids?”

Sasuke thought for a moment, broodily. “No.”

“Even after we’d saved an entire country at thirteen?”

“Not that I recall.”

“What about after I saved the village from a raging Bijuu? Did they let me ignore proper protocol after that?”

Sasuke gave Naruto a dead stare. “I left the village after that, Naruto.”

“And I bet when you came back, they checked your fucking paperwork.”

“Suna checked my paperwork after I saved them from Akatsuki and died for their sins,” Gaara offered.

A despairing gate guard. A demand for protocol. This was how the Seventh Hokage planned to enter Kumo.

“Alright,” the guard said, realizing now why it was the person who lost the draw that had to go to the gate. This was ridiculous. “I’ll check the paperwork.”

“Damn right you will. Sasuke, give him your paperwork.”

The guard stared at it. Uchiha Sasuke, yes, a picture of him, yes, age, weight, height - and rank.

“Sir, Avenger is not a valid rank.”

Sasuke stared.

“Sir, if we’re following proper protocol here, you need to be a genin to enter the chunin exams.”

Sasuke stared.

“I can’t let you through, sir.”

Sasuke stared.

“Y-you’ll need to get a valid ID, or secure permissions from your Kage.”

Sasuke scowled. “Naruto.”

“Gee, I don’t know Sasuke,” the Seventh Hokage, savior of the world and protector of all mankind said. “Is someone who defaces their paperwork really worthy of being a chunin?”

“You deface your paperwork.”

“Yes, but as Hokage, I think I’ve earned the right to deface my paperwork. Unlike say, a genin.”

“Fine,” Sasuke snapped, his right eye turning blood red, the pupil morphing into a many-pointed star. “I’ll do it myself.” He turned to the gate guard, whose life promptly flashed before his eyes. “Tsukuy-”

“I guess Avenger, while not a rank, could be an equivalent. To, say, genin.” The Hokage mused absentmindedly, tapping his chin. “But only for a little while, you know? I can’t go around calling every genin an avenger.”

Sasuke scoffed, eyes returning to their normal black and dull purple, and he snatched his faulty paperwork from the gate guard’s shaky fingers, stalking through the gate. “N-next,” the man stuttered, hoping that the next person was at least less of a murderer.

The Hokage’s wife stepped forward, and offered her paperwork with a smile. WIth relief, his eyes scanned down it, all normal, except for the rank. Again.

“Miss, Super Dreadnought Ramen Queen is not-”

“Nah, that’s totally a rank. It’s right above Hokage,” the Shichidaime waved. “Less responsibility, though.”

“B-but, sir, I wasn’t told-”

“Hey.” The gate guard gasped, shrinking back, as the Hokage was suddenly there in his personal space. Leaning forward, grinning easily. His eyes blood red. “It’s fine, isn’t it?”

“Kurama.”

And above him, looming over the man’s shoulder, a monster.

“O-of course sir! Sh-she can go right along inside!”

Meanwhile, the Hokage’s wife was examining her paperwork, frowning. “I don’t recall being promoted,” she said, raising an eyebrow at her husband.

“I did it while you were making Himawari’s bento,” he explained.

“I thought Super Dreadnought Ramen King was your goal, dear?”

“Right, but you know, you’ve already surpassed me when it comes to marriage.”

A beautiful smile. A despairing gate guard. A total lack of proper protocol.

The gate guard wished he hadn’t picked the leftmost straw.

The Kazekage stepped forward, offering his paperwork to the gate guard. He took it, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He didn’t see Suna’s contingent anywhere, and why was the Kazekage wearing a leaf headba-

“Genin of Konoha?” he choked. Gaara nodded seriously.

“I am inexperienced, but I hope to make Konoha proud in the exams.”

The gate guard nodded wordlessly, handing it back and hoping that at least the Hokage’s paperwork was normal.

The Hokage offered it with a wide, brilliant smile, and hope rose in the guard’s stomach.

And promptly died.

I’m Uzumaki Naruto.

It was written in crayon. Crayon.

“This seems to check out, sir,” he said, and the Hokage raised an eyebrow.

“You sure, soldier? Nothing missing?”

“N-no.”

“Nothing at all?

“Not that I can see.”

Naruto took his paperwork back, and stared at suspiciously before groaning. “Man, this genjutsu is way too good for me to crack, then. Hinata must have applied it when I was changing her rank. It was supposed to just be my name written in crayon. My daughter did it. She’s great. You’d love her. She already knows how to write, and she’s only five years old, can you believe it? I couldn’t write until I was twelve.”

The gate guard nodded wordlessly. At least everyone else’s paperwork would be normal.

A serious looking girl with shoulder length black hair and a pair of stylish crimson glasses stepped forward, shoving her paperwork in his face and pointedly not looking at the Hokage, who had apparently decided to wait outside for the rest of his shinobi to be cleared before he went in. The guard accepted the papers and ran through them, hoping against hope the rank was-

“Avenger in training,” he said flatly.

“What!?” The girl snatched the forms back, staring at them with wide eyes. “I didn’t write this!”

“It’s cool. Sasuke did it,” Naruto said, nodding seriously. “He was extremely impressed with how much you were like your father.”

“But he is my father!”

“I know that, but he doesn’t.”

The gate guard gave up, taking the next paperwork and ignoring the heated whisper discussion taking place right next to him between the two. He looked at the boy before him, and then back down.

“This all checks out.”

“I know,” the boy hissed, taking back the paperwork with a disgusted look. “I even checked for genjutsu. I can’t believe it! How dare he.”

“Hm?” The gate guard said, ignoring the child as he moved to the next person.

“Not messing with my paperwork. It’s like he doesn’t even care!”

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“Sorry we’re late, A!”

A looked up as a tall, blond man flounced - yes, flouncing was the only way to describe how he moved - into the room, a bright, sunny grin on his face and a surly looking redhead at his side.

“I got distracted when we went to Suna to grab all the Genin Gaara wanted to enter. Which was none, by the way. But on the way, oh man, you’re not even gonna believe it.”

He paused, dramatically. A ignored him.

“We found an entire ocean, and in that ocean there was an entire nation of people. A nation of people being oppressed.”

A pinched the bridge of his nose. “How did you even find a nation with a dictator? Didn’t you go on a world liberating spree for your honeymoon?’

Naruto nodded seriously. “Yes. Hinata really enjoyed it when I liberated Rain from water so that way we could have a picnic. That’s besides the point, though. These guys were hiding. We found them under Suna.”

“You found an ocean,” A echoed. “Under a desert.”

“That’s the best place to hide an ocean, A,” Naruto replied, waving a hand. “Nobody would ever expect to find it there! Anyways, so when I found the ocean, there was this girl right?”

“Of course there was.”

“And she was being attacked. I naturally saved her immediately, of course. You’ll never guess who she was!”

“Was she the princess of the oppressed people, trying to find help to free her nation?”

Gaara and Naruto exchanged a look before staring at A with something akin to awe. “How’d you know?!”

“I swear to god, I can’t tell if your life is really like that or if you’re just a fucking idiot.”

Gaara and Naruto exchanged another look. “Both?” Naruto asked.

Gaara nodded firmly. “Both.”

The office was quiet for a moment, and A wished they would just leave, because they had no reason to actually enter his office to apologize.

“So, Naruto,” Gaara asked. “How did you save Atlantis?”

“You were with him,” A said flatly.

“I was,” Gaara agreed. “But you weren’t going to ask.”

“SO THERE I WAS.”

A groaned, burying his head in Darui’s paperwork.

“Waist deep in an underground ocean, a lady almost as attractive as my darling wife but not really wrapped up in my arms, one pair of pants lighter. After I, the dashing, cool, and attractive Uzumaki Naruto, saved the princess of Atlantis - she begged me for my help. I naturally acquiesced, as all good heroes do.”

“Indeed,” Gaara confirmed. “He agreed quite quickly.”

A was just hopeful that this story would be quick, because after all, this was Naruto, the literal greatest shinobi of all time, they were talking about.

“And it turns out that she was a famous actress right? Yukie Fujikaze. And-”

“Naruto, that was when you were twelve.”

Naruto blinked once, and then nodded. “Right, right. Okay, so she was a priestess, and could see the future-”

“Again, Naruto, that was several years ago.”

“Shit. Okay, hold on, I think I got it this time. So there was this huge dick right? Like, I’m talking a guy who was more of a dick then Sasuke was when he was twelve. And he kidnaps her and takes her to the moon, so I-”

“That was your wife.”

“Sorry A,” Naruto winked at the man, who felt a small pain in his upper temple. “I guess I lead a pretty interesting life! Okay, so I was entering the Chunin Exams for the second time when…”

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Boruto glared at the Ho-Raikage tower, hating it with all of his might. If somebody had given him super special training lessons, he would have been able to destroy the tower with his mind. But apparently, growing up and having to do it yourself is “character building”, and “it’s good for you to interact with your fellow future ninja, now excuse me, your darling mother just gave me the eyes”.

There were no fellow ninja around worthy of interacting with him. Even though he was just the underprivileged, woefully forgotten son of the Hokage, and had no way of ever meeting someone equal to him.

It was hard, being the misunderstood son of the Hokage. It was hard and nobody understood.

“Boruto?” A voice came from behind him, and he turned around in a way that definitely wasn’t sulky, because someone as incredible as himself could never possibly sulk.

It was him. His father.

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Okay, Boruto, so I know we haven’t had a good talk in a while,” Naruto said, scratching the back of his head. “But I’ve heard you’ve had some problems with…. girls.”

Boruto stared at his father.

“That’s fine, Boruto. I, of course, am incredible and never had any trouble getting women; aside from your amazing mother of course, so I’m here to give you a few tips.”

Boruto Stared.

“Okay, Boruto.” Naruto looked seriously at his son, placing a hand onto his shoulder. “First, you master an incredibly complex shape manipulation jutsu which we will refer to now as the… uh…. Masengan.”

Boruto blinked. “That’s just the Rasengan with a different first syllable, isn’t it?”

Naruto continued, ignoring his only son entirely. “The Masengan is pretty great, Boruto. I for one would heartily recommend using it both in and outside of battle, because of its astronomical utility. Roommate annoying you? Masengan. Rival trying to kill you with an assassination jutsu? Masengan? Need to fill out your tax forms? The Masengan is the only answer. Speech? Masengan. Seriously Boruto, there’s nothing this jutsu can’t be used for. However… it can become even better.”

Boruto opened his mouth slowly, then closed it. Would his father finally impart some wisdom?

“In certain situations, such as when there is a dictator, overlord, or attractive girl involved, you can use the Masengan to create a random and situational variation of it that can only be applicable in that specific situation, and which you must never mention to anyone, ever again. The girl will then adore you forever for some reason, in fact, that’s how I got your mother to fall in love with me. The Masengan, Boruto. It can’t be beat.”

“I thought you had some sort of like, long childhood love with her or whatever? And wasn’t there something involving the moon?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Boruto. It was all the magic of the Masengan.” He paused. “Don’t make it anything fruity, like a rainbow. The girls never talk to you when you make a shape manipulation jutsu that looks like a rainbow.”

Boruto glared at his father, his eyes narrowing into slits. This was ridiculous. Here he was, the son of a Hokage, and he was forced to deal with this… this… stupidity instead of anything actually useful! He could be busy learning ultimate chakra techniques or super secret sword styles, but instead he had to deal with this… this…

“So one time, I was in this weird village right? Apparently Jiraiya had promised to marry some girl he’d beat up or whatever. I’m gonna be honest with you Boruto,” Naruto put a hand on his son’s shoulder. Boruto recoiled in horror as the man who claimed to be his leader pretended to have compassion. “Jiraiya was a bad guy. A great man, but a bad dude. So that village had to like, marry whoever beat them up? I wasn’t really paying attention, but guess what Boruto. You know what got the girl who wanted me to fight with her to pay attention to me?”

“Your heroism and dedication to the glory of Konoha?”

“What? No that’s ridiculous. The Masengan Boruto. It was all the Masengan.”

The young Genin stared up at his father, and his eyes widened. Maybe… just maybe… his father wasn’t messing around? What if the Masengan was really… that powerful? If it had that kind of strength, maybe even Boruto could win the Chunin exams, even against the Hokage himself!

“...What else can the Masengan do?”

The Hokage smiled bright and wide, kneeling before Boruto, his hand still on his shoulder. “That’s good, Boruto. That’s good. But you have to understand, the Masengan is unstoppable. It can do anything. It’s the ultimate technique, Boruto, my ultimate technique. Even my father’s Hiraishin would bow before the sheer strength of the Masengan.”

Boruto decided then and there, that he was going to try something impossible. Something unthinkable. Something he had never tried before. He was…

“Seriously Boruto, this one time I was in Demon Country, right? And there was some sort of weird stuff going on. I’ll be honest, I don’t exactly remember what happened. It was a weird day, Boruto. A weird day. But I saved a girl with a Masengan alteration, and she paid attention to me after that. I think there was a promise or something, I’m a little hazy on the details. But remember Boruto…”

Naruto smiled and gave his son a thumbs up, and Boruto felt something funny in his chest.

“That’s just my ninja way.”

Boruto’s decision finalized. He was going to trust his father. He swallowed, looked down at the ground, and then said, “Can… can you teach it to me?”

“Of course!”

The boy looked up, his eyes widening with hope -

“Not right now though. I’m supposed to be in a meeting with the Raikage, Boruto. I had to explain why we were late.”

Oh. He was a bit put out, but that was better than his father had ever done before. “Wait, you came out here just for me?”

Naruto Uzumaki smiled with twinkling eyes, giving his son another thumbs up. “Of course! I’d never let my only son not know how to pick up girls!”

Wait, what?

“But I thought the Masengan was the ultimate techni-”

“For meeting girls, Boruto. The Rasengan is obviously the ultimate technique. I killed a Goddess with it you know. Well, I guess Sasuke helped. He is the second strongest shinobi in the world you know.”

Leaves fell in the distance and a scream of pain could be heard. But Boruto was, for once, focused on his father.

“Can… can I learn that, too?”

Naruto stared at his only son, his brow furrowed in thought. “I dunno, Boruto. It’s pretty strong. And it’s my favorite technique.”

Boruto’s heart fell.

“But I learned it at your age, so why not! Just let me finish this meeting first. It’s important to put your best foot forward with the Raikage, Boruto. He’s not a friendly guy. Doesn’t like Konoha very much. Probably because Sasuke cut off his arm.” Naruto shrugged his shoulders, grinning. “I mean, most people would be proud that the Uchiha Sasuke, second strongest shinobi in the world, cut off their arm. But not the Raikage.”

“Why do you call him that?”

“Call him what?”

“The second strongest shinobi in the world.”

Naruto blinked owlishly as he began to walk away, Boruto trailing after him. “Because it’s true, Boruto. Quick, dispel me. I think he’s catching on!”

Boruto frowned. “Wait… you’re a clone?”

“Obviously! The Raikage would know if I’d sent a clone to talk to him! He’s a cunning guy! So I had to clone myself, and then tell the clone of myself to clone itself, so that way there wouldn’t be a trail, Boruto. If you leave a trail you’ll be found out. But I’m Uzumaki Naruto, the strongest shinobi in the world. There’s no way he’d follow my trail.”

Boruto nodded, slowly. “Okay. How do I… dispel you?”

“Just throw a jutsu at me, Boruto! Any will do!”

Boruto formed a fireball.

He tossed it at his father.

His father grinned as he exploded into smoke.

And somehow, Boruto felt that… maybe his father wasn’t such an idiot after all.

sharinganiscaringan

Uzumaki Hinata opened her eyes, staring at the scene before her. Naruto was at her side, grinning proudly. Before her was a scene of carnage.

The Raikage with his head in his hands. Killer Bee watching with wide, wet eyes. Gaara nodding solemnly.

“Know your place, King of the Seas!” A clone of Naruto roared, holding a Rasengan in his hand as a princess stared at him with shining eyes. “For today, you’ve met your match!”

“Fool!” spat out the man next to Naruto, glaring viciously at the Hokage. His armor clanked as he raised his trident, charging a jutsu into it, pointing it at the clone. “Know your place before the King! I will conquer Atlantis, and then I will conquer your precious forest!”

The clone grit its teeth, and the real Naruto, next to Hinata put his hand on her shoulder, whispering into her ear: “This is my favorite part.”

“There’s no way you’ll ever do that! Because… I made a promise to the people of Konoha! And I never go back on my word!”

The clone charged forward, the Rasengan swirling with all the powers of the seas themselves as it clashed with the trident as power crackled through it, and the King of the Seas face twisted into hate -

“That’s my ninja way!”

Bee applauded wildly, cheering as the entire tower was covered in white and twenty clones of Naruto were left before the Raikage and Bee, bowing.

“That was beautiful, yo! My favorite part was when he created a new variation of the Rasengan and saved her, y’know?”

Hinata smiled daintily, closed her eyes, and nodded.

sharinganiscaringan


End file.
